meanplastic:

*breathes*
*gains 5 pounds*

spookyjacob:

ur not allowed to be busy youre my only friend

jerkidiot:

iphone-420:

jerkidiot:

jerkidiot:

my mom said i can only have one glass of milk a day wtf mom

image

frick you mom

WHY DO YOU HAVE A TGLASS THAT BIHG

FOR MILK

andrewquo:

I tweeted about going outside and my buddy wanted proof seeimage

but little did he know imageI DIDN’T EVEN GO OUTSIDE

andrewquo:

I tweeted about going outside and my buddy wanted proof seeimage

but little did he know imageI DIDN’T EVEN GO OUTSIDE

andrewquo:

I tweeted about going outside and my buddy wanted proof seeimage

but little did he know imageI DIDN’T EVEN GO OUTSIDE

Teacher: Brian, what's the I before E rule?
Brian: Um... I before E... always.
Teacher: What are you an idiot, Brian?
Brian: Apparently.
Teacher: No, Brian, it's I before E, except after C, and when sounding like A, as in neighbor and way, and weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong no matter what you say!
Brian: Oh, that's a hard rule.
Brian: That's a- that's a rough rule.
...
Teacher: Brian, how do you make a word a plural?
Brian: You put a S.
Brian: You put a S at the end of it.
Teacher: When?
Brian: Uh. On weekends and holidays and-
Teacher: No, Brian. No. Let me show you.
Teacher: Erwin! Erwin, what is the plural for ox?
Erwin: Oxen. The farmer uses oxen.
Teacher: Brian?
Brian: Wh-aaat?
Teacher: Brian, what's the plural for box?
Brian: Boxen. I bought two boxen of doughnuts.
Teacher: Oh no, Brian. No.
Teacher: Let's try another one. Erwin, what is the plural for goose?
Erwin: Geese. I saw a flock of geese.
Teacher: Brian-
Brian: Wha-a-a-at?
Teacher: Brian, what's the plural for moose?
Brian: MOOSEN. I saw a flock of MOOSEN.
Brian: There are many of 'em.
Brian: Many much moosen.
Brian: Out in the woods- In the woodes- In the woodsen.
Brian: The meese want the food. The food is to eatenesen. The meese want the food in the woodyesen! In the, food in the woodenesen!
Teacher: Brian! Brian.
Teacher: You're an imbecile.
Brian: Imbecile-n.
Teacher: What, are you speaking German, Brian?
Brian: German. Jermain. Jermaine- Jackson! Jackson Five. Tito!
Teacher: Brian, what the heck are you talking about?
Brian: I don't know, I don't know really.

Actual sentence that came out of my mouth today:

"I always forget which Freckles my hand is on."

princekarkat:grandmasterflash: